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Let
Others Be Right Most Of The Time
Being right, defending our positions, takes an enormous amount
of
mental energy and often alienates us from the people in our lives.
Needing to be right — or needing someone else to be wrong
— encourages others to become defensive, and puts pressure
on us to keep defending. Yet, many of us spend a great deal of time
and energy attempting to prove (or point out) that we are right
— and/or others are wrong.
Many people, consciously or unconsciously, believe that it’s
somehow their job to show others how their positions, statements,
and points of view are incorrect, and that in doing so, the person
they are correcting is going to somehow appreciate it. Wrong!
Have you ever been corrected by someone and said to the person
who was trying to be right, “Thank you so much for showing
me that I’m wrong
and you’re right.” Or, has anyone you know ever thanked
you when you
corrected them, or made yourself “right” at their expense?
Of course not.
The truth is, all of us hate to be corrected. We all want our positions
to be respected and understood by others. Being listened to and
heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those
who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.
It’s not that it’s never appropriate to be right —
sometimes you
genuinely need to be or want to be. Perhaps there are certain philosophical
positions that you don’t want to budge on, such as when you
hear a racist comment.
Here, it’s important to speak your mind. Usually, however,
it’s just
your ego creeping in and ruining an otherwise peaceful encounter
— a habit of wanting or needing to be right.
A wonderful, strategy for becoming more peaceful and loving is
to
practice allowing others the joy of being right — give them
the glory. Stop correcting. As hard as it may be to change this
habit, it’s worth any effort and practice it takes.
The people in your life will become less defensive and more loving.
They will appreciate you more than you could ever have dreamed
possible, even if they don’t exactly know why. You’ll
discover the joy of participating in and witnessing other people’s
happiness, which is far more rewarding than a battle of egos.
You don’t have to sacrifice your deepest philosophical truths
or most
heartfelt opinions, but, starting today, let others be “right,”
most of
the time!
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